Rewiring yourself

In school, we watch A LOT of motivational videos. I kid you not. They are to kind help shape us into the personal trainer we desire to be and also might be the kick in the pants we need.

I admitted in my last post, that I have been struggling with everything including my gym routine which has taken a major back seat. Endless excuses and lack of motivation (funny we’ve talking about that this week in class!) has left me feeling down and out.

It happens. More often than you think.

While I don’t have all the answers of how or why but I do know you can get back on track. I’ve said it posts before on what to do if you feel that way. But sometimes you need more than just an inspirational post to get you back in the game.

Watch this video it’s a bit long but worth it! I really liked what Jenny had to say and because she’s a girl after my own heart! Because she is loud like me 😉 but her message is important I really liked the the I AM statements.

I decided to start out small with mine I did two which are:

I AM okay

I AM going to workout

As time goes on, I will add more as I see fit 🙂

Small steps leading to bigger ones!

Have a great day!





Transformation Thursday face photos

I know Transformation photos are usually on Tuesdays, but I’m changing it up! Yesterday I came across a picture of me from about roughly 5 years ago (thanks Facebook) it was “selfie” I did with my friend at the time before selfie mode became a thing on cell phones it was a digital camera. It’s just our faces.

I couldn’t believe how fat my face looks in the photo! So I took another selfie to do a side by side and all I can saw is WOW:


The left is me of course back in 2009-2010 and the right was yesterday morning at work. If you noticed I had the double chin going on. It’s crazy to think how much you lose in your face! I’m glad I saw this photo it’s proof that I’ve come a long way in my journey and yes sometimes we have hiccups but we just have to keep going!! Sometimes that’s all the motivation you need.


Dear It Works Representative

Recently a channel I follow on YouTube posted a video:

I have an Instagram that’s private and once in awhile I do get follow requests from It Works Representatives or Shake-logy. Truth be told they don’t like any of my pictures they may comment on one and that’s it. But they don’t interact with me because I don’t with them.

Here’s the thing. I understand that you’re trying to get an income there’s nothing wrong with that or you are a stay at home mom needing a little extra cash that’s great.  I used to sell to be a representative for a company but I couldn’t hack it so I gave it up. Simply because I couldn’t keep harassing my friends to order stuff they didn’t want or to host a party all the time. I have several friends that are Thirty-One, and Scentsy reps and the nice thing is they don’t harass you to buy their products. I support them when I can.

But why push a product that really doesn’t work?

I lost weight the old fashion way: Diet and Exercise. I didn’t use any product whatsoever to do it. Because I knew truthfully that it was affordable for me and I got results. I will admit, when I joined Curves years ago, I did use their protein shakes and vitamins but I realized I wasting my money so I gave that up. I’m not perfect but this last time I just put in the hard work.

As a future personal trainer I’m not going to push my clients into something that they don’t want. It’s not what they’re paying me for. They are paying me to get fit.

We talked about that in class Tuesday. One of the students said he used protein shakes. The look on my instructors face!! She was explaining about reading labels on products and he admitted some of the ingredients he had no idea what they were.

I still have a stomach I’m not going to lie but why would I shrink it with a ridiculously priced wrap? It’s like my whole post on using a waist cinchers Seriously I could use saran wrap if I wanted to shrink my stomach at half the cost. Kidding. I would NEVER use that either. I worked very hard to get where I am and I’m studying to help others do it the right way. It’s hard when my friends on Facebook host wrap parties or are trying to sell it but I don’t say anything or attend (mainly because they fall on my work weekends or I’m busy anyways) plus I don’t want to be the B and make the comments saying that it doesn’t work. They’re not pushing me so I have to respect them.

I got to thinking why am I even following these people? Like I said they never like any of my pictures, they don’t care about anything I post anyways (for the record I post way too many pictures of my cat) and again they really haven’t tried to push their products on me so I really can’t complain. However why follow me? So I unfriended all of them. And no this isn’t a post to complain about them I just want to shine a little truth like The BIG (Body Image Guru) said It doesn’t work.

Remember just eat right, exercise, drink plenty of water and you will succeed!!


Body Shaming is NOT OKAY

Writer’s note: This post is about being body positive no negative comments will be allowed.

About a two weeks ago, Nicole Arbour posted a lovely YouTube video entitled Dear Fat People. I happened to hear about on Twitter, so I looked it up. Well I was surprised and a bit dumbfounded. First that she would have the balls to post this let alone knowing that there would be serious back lash.

Before this video, I thought she was funny in fact, I enjoyed  Most offensive video ever because yeah, people nowadays get way more offended than back in the day. But after I watched this video I was like “Could she be more of a B?” Fat shaming has been on the rise more than ever. With social media being the culprit. It’s hard to be a young person in this day and age. I thank my lucky stars I grew up before that.

I’ve struggled with body image for years and still do this day. First off, I am a fit healthy 32 year old. But I still have curves, big boobs, stretch marks, and a bit of pooch from being heavy. I am a size 12 which is right below the average size of most females (14 is the normal size). So I’m not “fat” perse (although I disagree #thestruggleisreal) or really plus sized anymore. However, I know what it’s like to be picked on because of my weight. In fact, I’ve been skinny shamed too. Because I was choosing healthy options, or cutting my cheese burgers in half. Neither is okay in my book.

I wanted to write about it not to attack Nicole but just to give my opinion not make a video called Dear Skinny People. Like I said a lot of people were upset about her video and as they should be nobody wants to be picked on because of how they look.

The reason I lost weight because I wanted to. I was unhappy, not because somebody shamed me. This was all on me. I wasn’t comfortable with my body. I hated clothes shopping. Some full figured are happy the way they are and that is awesome. I wished I had their confidence. In fact a plus sized model rocked the runway at New York’s Fashion Week. That is amazing! I was the teenager looking at Seventeen and YM (old school here) that wished she looked like the models. I would compare myself to other girls because I wanted to be prettier. I get it. We all struggle some more than others.

I would never ever shame someone because of their body size. I wouldn’t go to someone who is full figured and say “Hey fatty go to the gym!” the same with a skinny sized person I wouldn’t  say “Hey skinny eat a freaking cheeseburger!” because everyone is different they have their own struggles. Plus I grew up in an different  enviroment than most people so I have a very strong acceptance of people of different sizes, shapes, color, disability, sexual orientation, etc. Let alone go on the internet and make a video of it.

The generation now is YouTube viewers so I’ve noticed.  I’m not sure how many younger people follow Nicole her content isn’t for the under 18 crowd but I’m sure their might be followers nonetheless. Some might look up to Nicole as a role model and she’s not being a very good one at that. Someone might look at that video and think the worse of themselves like as she said that they drip Crisco from their pores, and smell like sausage. Terrible.

No, they’re not likely to say “Hey because she posted a video calling me fat, I’m going to loose weight right now” Most are probably going to think even more horrible about themselves, and could lead to sad results. Not a up wake call.

To me I think FAT isn’t a nice word to say to anyone. Some people would disagree with and say that they don’t mind being called that word because they’ll say “Yes I am and I’m not ashamed” which again what I admire. If any of my friends were to say that I would say No, I think you’re beautiful or something along those lines. I use the terms “heavy” “plus sized” “full figured” or “curvy”.

As a future personal trainer, I want to help people become healthier and to achieve their goals like I did.

Remember to be kind to another in this world we need it.


Going at it alone

I’m on a Facebook group called We’re getting slim. A local man from Omaha named Jim founded the group after he lost over 200 pounds. Recently, a member wrote a post stating that he was leaving the group because he started out losing weight really well then got injured on the job so he gained all the weight back, then blamed Jim for his failure that “Jim wouldn’t help him” I don’t know Jim personally, but he seems like a great guy. All of us from the group we surprised because it has bee nothing but positive vibes (hence why I love the group) no negativity, straight up encouragement, we offer advice to another and support each other. Jim’s wife posted how busy he is and that this individual was coming over constantly more or less being a nuisance it would seem.

Jim had nothing negative to say about it he was straight up nice about the whole thing in fact he wrote his own post about his own situation here

When I started my weight loss journey soon to be three years ago, I did it alone. I had no workout buddy, or anyone to help me. I did get some advice from a few people and a virtual support group on Facebook but other than that I went at it alone.

Why? Because I am responsible for my weight gain. Nobody else did it but me. I made bad choices, I didn’t care, and it showed. I already wrote a post about screwing up so this goes along with that post. I knew that if I relied on someone, that if I screwed up or failed I would immediately blame them and I didn’t want that to happen. Now I don’t discourage having a workout buddy or an accountability buddy if that works for you great but remember this is for YOU. My other concern was that sadly people flake out on you it happens sometimes it’s beyond our control. I didn’t want to rely on anyone. This was all on me.

I’ve had to overcome a lot of obstacles to get here. I’m not perfect, I’m human I screwed up numerous times, I would eat horrible, skip my workout, and yes I’ve gained a little weight from time to time but it happens.  At first, when I gained weight I would be upset and sometimes I still do, but there are factors to it. You gain muscle when you lift, plus when the monthly visitor happens I tend to eat more, there’s other things that happen but I’ve learned not to take it too personally and just “let it go”. I just start over the next day like it never happened. It’s mind over matter.

Essentially it’s YOU vs. YOU. You are in your own competition. We our own worst enemies sometimes but we can get past it onto something great.

As The Rock says: “Be the hardest worker in the room”


Body Confidence (or lack there of)

This is an interesting topic as of late. I’m sure you heard the outcry of people that were shocked when Oprah magazine’s posted an answer to the question: Can I pull off a crop top? The answer: If (and only if!) you have flat stomach. Feel free to try one. For more coverage, layer the top over a longer shirt as shown in look two. Wow kind of surprising coming from Oprah whom is not a skinny woman herself in fact, she’s very curvy.

I remember when crop tops were all the rage growing up in the 90’s I always wanted one but I knew my parents would be less than thrilled with me showing off my body that way plus I was modest as F so I never basked in bare stomach glory. My teen years were brutal being bullied didn’t help matters so I had no confidence in myself what so ever. It would be that way into my adult years.

Before I lost the weight I tried to be confident in myself but the voices haunted me, I never believed that I was attractive people would say it all the time that I was pretty or beautiful but I hid from it avoiding mirrors if it all possible. I wore baggy clothes to hide my heaviness.

Now that I’ve lost all the weight I still struggle with this believe it or not. I may show that I am confident on the outside but on the inside trust me the struggle is real. I recently started a personal touch toning class with my local Jazzercise studio it’s twice a week for four weeks. I was excited because I thought “Hey here’s an opportunity for me to learn some much needed tips and techniques that I can apply to when I workout” after the class it was a different story. I felt defeated. I was corrected on everything my form was so bad I felt like I was being picked on I left feeling not only sore but completely let down. Being a “fit girl” I prided myself in being well fit, felt like a blob and I cried. I know the class well help I haven’t quit because it’s not an option. Later that week, I saw someone rock a crop top that had a flat stomach that made me feel worse!!

I am very curvy, have large ta-tas, stretch marks and I still have a stomach. It’s hard to be positive when you look down and all you can see is stomach. It takes a major stab at my confidence.

I admire anyone who is body positive there are a ton of women I admire who are well fat (and they’re proud of it) who dare to wear crop tops (giving the middle finger to Oprah), two-piece swimsuits, and skin tight clothes and not giving two shits (pardon my language) about it. Which in a world that is full of so much body shaming it’s awesome to see that. In fact ESPN’s 2015 Body Issue on the cover is a very curvy Amanda Bingson (tan lines included) where she quotes: “I’ll be honest, I like everything in about my body”.

Why is it so hard for me to be confident?

Then on Instagram I follow Amy Purdy (Olympic Snowboarder) she posted herself in a bikini in her caption she quoted

“PS Be kind to yourselves. No “body” is perfect. It took me years to that accept my scars saved my life I began to accept them. I have had to remind myself at times there are things I can control and things I can’t control. I can control how I eat, I can control if and when workout, and I can control my thoughts so those thing I do. The rest is out of my hands.”

I was speechless to know that someone who is admired by many admits that she even struggles herself and body confidence. It put a lot in perspective for me.

That made me think of last year when I purchased a one piece swimsuit that had a rather plunging neck line which again for someone who is modest was a challenge to wear out in public uncovered. It took some convincing from my best friend as well to rock it at the water park but I did:


I look pretty confident in this picture don’t I?

Maybe I do have the confidence; I think sometimes it just slips through the cracks. It happens we all are own worst enemies especially with so much body shaming in the world. We’re not perfect, we’re human. Sometimes we need to let roll off our shoulders or the now classic line from the movie Frozen “Let it go”.

Remember to embrace your imperfections, honor your curves, and be kind to others.