Fork in the road

Wow.  I don’t even know where to begin. I really thought 2017 was going to be my year.  I was going to STRIVE for success. So far it has not we’re already four months in and I want a divorce from 2017.

I have tried to be optimistic

I have tried to be positive

I tried to STRIVE forward

BUT……

I’ve felt nothing but stagnant. School hasn’t gotten any easier since I started back in January. In fact it has not gotten any better. Last week I was slammed with news not once but twice. My instructor even came down on me pretty hard the week before that I cried the whole 45 minute drive on the way home.

My job has been stressful since the start of the New Year too, I’ve had to put in numerous days of OT when I’m not at school which has added to the stress load.

The gym has taken a backseat I haven’t been since maybe January? Meal planning has been a hit and a miss. I’ve cheated way more than I should have and I have put on 30 pounds. Clothes aren’t fitting again. I am not proud of that.

I think part of the problem is I don’t have any real goals set. I decided not to do Trek up the Tower this year because prior to that when I had planned to train, I had an rather painful injury where I had pulled my quad muscles severely so I took two weeks off in order to recover. I thought about 5K the Hardway again but I don’t know my schedule past May, so I can’t even schedule the Color Run either it’s been frustrating so I have been saying no to any commitments like them.

What’s a girl to do?

To be honest, I am not sure what the answer is. Usually I am so sure of myself but my confidence has taken a backseat as well.

Here’s the BUT again…..

Sunday morning, I cleaned out my cupboards and my fridge. I went grocery shopping Monday after work. I stuck to my list and only bought said items on there which I rarely do. I did add a few things that I had forgotten but I didn’t buy any sweets. I made myself a smoothie for breakfast then I drove out to Johnson Lake and walked around 1 time. I also did some upright push ups on the benches along the way (I need to figure out how many benches they are total so I could do the math on how many reps I do on each one) The wind was pretty strong (love Nebraska) is why I only made it around 1 time plus I can tell I am out of shape! I came home and cooked lunch:

Food.jpg

I got some pork chops but I cut it in half and bought some broccoli and cheese tater tots ( I had a coupon) they tasted really good! I did some meal prepping too this week. I have been back to drinking tons of water.

It’s a start. My birthday is this week. I may have a cheat day and I am going to try to make it to the gym this week as well since the weather looks ify the rest of the week so I may not be able to get out and walk.

I have my final today then I start back up with classes next week!

I’ll try to update when I can.

Mags

 

 

 

 

 

Monthly update

I wish I was writing a happier post but alas that’s not reality. I decided not to weigh in this month because it has been a horrible month.

Work has been very stressful we’re down to three original staff members the rest have retired or quit. I had to put in overtime last week so no gym at all. Which I didn’t go at all this entire month I am ashamed to admit I didn’t even make it to the Cross fit class like I mentioned. My eating has been poor I’ve stressed eaten way too much and drank pop pretty regularly.

Plus school on top of it which the last two weeks I’ve had a big assignment due that needed my attention more. Today is my last day of the 1st semester next semester (which starts next Monday) is nutrition!!! I am little anxious to start that because I know mine isn’t as great. *sighs*

But it can only get better from here! I am going to take charge again better my eating I even got some unflavored protein powder so I am going to try my first shake with some of it, I also got kale! (I found a great recipe for dressing that I will share after I try it). Plus back to no pop. It’s my downfall but I need to do better with it.

As for getting back into a workout routine, I just need to do it. Tomorrow I plan go back to the Y. I think I will start maybe with some walking at the track then maybe swim, I want to ease myself back into it. I am hoping by the end of the week I can go back to Jazzercise too. That is my goals for the week.

I will check back with you in a week!!

~Mags

 

 

 

Strive 2017

After much debate, I have a word for 2017. If you remember last year, my word was Achieve and I felt like I haven’t achieved anything. Honestly I really wasn’t going to have a word this year because I felt like 2016 was a such let down for me because I only “achieved” four of my goals. I’ve openly have talked about my struggles as I entered into the New Year, a little rough too I might add, I kind of dismissed having a word altogether. But the more I thought about it, and I was in class the other day working on my “business plan” and the word that I have been thinking about using Strive came into my mind for a gym name. Granted it’s just part of my business class, I am not sure if I will go into my own business or not after I graduate. But I liked the idea so I went with it. Actually I had gotten up early before class and went to the Y. After I logged my workout, I wrote STRIVE on my marker board:

strive

I want to STRIVE at the gym again

I want to STRIVE in school

I want to STRIVE in my decisions

I want to STRIVE to be healthier

I want to STRIVE in my meal plans

I want to STRIVE in my goals

And so on. I guess it’s not so bad to have a word after all. Let’s STRIVE for an awesome 2017!

~Mags

 

Real Talk

I wasn’t sure how to title this post or exactly how to write it. But it’s been on my mind so I wanted to share with y’all about this.  This is real talk here I am laying it out all on the line.

As you know, I am studying to become a personal trainer. It just basically happened on accident. I was applying to another school to be something totally different when I was struggling to pass the “required” exam and I lost steam on the idea. A lot of people suggested it because of my success in weight loss and motivating others. Next thing you know a year later I am starting my 2nd year of the program with completing by next December of 2017. Also, it hasn’t been anything but easy more like a roller coaster of stress, and emotions. I’ve been so close to walking away from the program completely but then where would I be?

This fall semester has been quite a roller coaster too. In September, I learned how to design and program workouts. I applied those workouts to the newer training students who were my position one year ago. It was quite an emotional time for me because I don’t take criticism well (who doesn’t) and most days I left the gym in tears.

I have a love/hate relationship with my current instructor. This is the same instructor I had for a year now. He taught me both times in kinesiology, also in my testing and prescription class and these last two classes I’ve had in the fall. Last Tuesday, he, myself and, my two classmates (who I’ve known since March and they will be done soon since they are just getting certified) had a sit down. My instructor wanted us to talk positives/negatives about one another. This is a hard topic for me because:

  1. I hate to tell anyone their faults because I want people to like me (total Taurus thing)
  2. I don’t take criticism well especially negative ones

My instructor told me out of all his years of teaching the program, he’s never met anyone who is so uncomfortable in the program than me. Needless to say I was shocked. One of the things my instructor had said in the last class: That I am uncomfortable in the gym. It was a total slap in the face. It really hurt too. I’ve mentioned it causally on this blog.

I never thought I was uncomfortable in the gym. I had Jazzercised more than going to the gym (YMCA) but apparently it’s relevant. Maybe it’s because the gym I go to for school is different than the Y maybe that’s why I am uncomfortable? Worse part was hearing that I am not educated in workouts. I felt like saying “duh” on that one. Why do you think I am going to school? I’ve learned by watching and pinterest. I really wished my school had a class on exercise. But it’s disheartening to hear constantly: “You’re uncomfortable, You don’t know exercises” How is that helping me? If anything it makes me question my abilities and I feel defeated. I also with certain exercises that I used to do but when put on the spot I get flustered and embarrassed.  I think that’s part of the reason why I have been avoiding the gym/Jazzercise. I’ve lost my confidence.

Here’s the thing. My instructor needs to do both the positive and the negative. You can’t have one without the other. In my opinion, tell me what I did wrong but soften the blow by telling me what I did good. He even said it’s a sandwich Positive with a Negative followed by a Positive.  He fails to do that.  I understand I need to grow and be comfortable as a trainer but I need positive reinforcement too. Otherwise I am going to fall back into the shadows.

Now I have a whole new understanding of why a lot of people avoid the gym altogether. I was one of those as well, and have fallen back into that fear. I need to overcome it again and start over to find what I have lost so I can be the best damn trainer I can be.

One step at a time One day at a time.

~Mags

 

 

Monthly Update!

Wow. It’s already December! I have two full weeks left of school then my last day is December 20th. Then I will have another year to go!

November was a stressful month. I ended up losing my previous car and getting a new one all in about week apart from each other. Also I suffered a very serious muscle strain that took about two weeks to full recover from. I’m still not fully back on a routine gym wise yet. Mainly because I have to do some observations for my current class as a project so I want to get my schedule worked out with that. But I am hoping to squeeze in some time soon! Until then my school work is priority. Also there has been some news about school that I can’t share just yet but once I get more details I’ll make it public

Tomorrow is my weight loss anniversary 5 years already. Which in itself is hard to believe! I will be writing a full post about that in a few days.

Other than that there is nothing new to report. I am hoping to still register for Trek Up the Tower after Christmas and start my training in the New Year.

Have a great Holiday Season!

Mags

An update!

Hello! Sorry I haven’t written in awhile but there hasn’t been a lot to say. I have had a really tough time with things. I just finished a really rough semester (seems to be the trend!) of school. It gave me a lot of emotions to deal with especially with being so foreign with the gym.

I was told numerous times that I don’t feel comfortable being in a gym setting which I felt was a personal insult to me! I have been a member of the YMCA since 2008 and even though I haven’t gone as much as I’ve liked lately, I agree and disagree with that. The gym my school uses is Prairie Life Fitness in Omaha which is just a few blocks from Campus. But for me it’s a good 45 minutes away, why would I drive 45 minutes to go workout when I have a gym not even 2 minutes away from me? Heck there’s even one across the street! I can understand being uncomfortable with PLF because I don’t go there enough to feel comfortable there I’ve only gone with class when it’s required. The Y I feel comfortable enough there because I do know most of the equipment and I’ve been a member for so long. The other uncomfortable part for me is knowing workouts. I spent last semester programing workouts for “clients” (the new students) and I had to DIG deep to find workouts that can be done in many, many different ways. But a lot of workouts I don’t know well enough because I don’t do them or know how to do them properly. That’s a stumbling block for me. I know it. I need to overcome it!

But I have been so tired, stressed, sick, and a little depressed that my workouts have taken a complete back seat. I haven’t Jazzercised in 2 months! I am on the fence about ending my membership for the time being and just solely focusing on the Y again and reacquainted with workouts and variations of them.  It’s tough because I ❤ Jazzercise so much it was there when I needed a change and I enjoyed my time there. In order to be a good trainer I need to have that knowledge of the gym which I admit I do lack a little. I have been an observer in the gym for quite sometime and I’ve learned by watching others. So I have to be well rounded when it comes to workouts and how to manipulate them.

My newest class is conditioning which is what athletes do.  Unfortunately I have zero experience in that field because I never was one so it might be a weak point to me. I am going to try my darnedest to succeed at this even if it is foreign to me.

In other news, my weight hasn’t changed for 3 months, my HS reunion came and went, I felt really good about myself then. Which again for me is something hard to come by. I still struggle a lot with confidence especially in the gym too. Menu planning didn’t go well past the third week. I learned it’s not for me and that’s okay. I gave it the old college try and I will keep doing what I have been. I do need to get back on prep which went wayside after vacation.

What else? Oh Trek up the Tower registration has opened so once payday happens Friday I am signing up all on my own. I really want to beat my time from last year. I am loosely planning to start training soon I am hoping by the end of this week/starting next week I can get started on it! I now have a better idea of how to approach it!

That’s it for now. I am hoping to be back with posts soon. Just keep me in your thoughts!

Mags

 

 

The Truth about waist cinchers

*Note this post is my opinion again I’m not expert but I do have experience and some knowledge, I know what works and what doesn’t*

I’ve noticed on Instagram celebs posting picture of themselves in waist cinchers or corsets to “help shrink their waist” Also know as “Waist training”I sit there in disbelief going “WTF, Are they for real?” I know it’s an endorsement but do they know how many young girls are going to think this is a solution to their problems? These girls who look up to them as a role model are going to  think they need one, in the end it’s going to do more harm then good.

Here’s an article by a fellow fit blogger who is a NPC compettitor and has tried it I like her take on it.

I never thought about shrinking my waist with a corset. Infact I don’t know how women back in the 1900’s wore them!! Have you seen Pirates of Carribean? Elizabeth fainted from not being able to breathe!!

Here’s another article from News and Views from a doctor’s stand point.

I don’t have a small waist like Barbie. That was never my intent when I started losing weight sure I wanted to be a smaller size but I knew I had to work hard to achieve that. Plus I’m a curvy girl and even though they drive me crazy I love them. You know the saying “Honor your curves” it’s true.

It does happen. I was a size 18 and I am now a size 12 just shy of size 14 which is the typical size of most women and it was my size in high school.  I wished I could have measured more to know exactly how many inches I lost but I didn’t just by diet and excercise. Do I still have a tummy? Yes sadly but I am not going to use a product that could possibly harm me. The thought of squishing everything and not being able to breathe are a big NO in my book. The only time I would say this is ok if it’s a medical reason then I have no problems with it.

I know it’s all about image in society but is it really worth it?

~M