Monthly update

I wish I was writing a happier post but alas that’s not reality. I decided not to weigh in this month because it has been a horrible month.

Work has been very stressful we’re down to three original staff members the rest have retired or quit. I had to put in overtime last week so no gym at all. Which I didn’t go at all this entire month I am ashamed to admit I didn’t even make it to the Cross fit class like I mentioned. My eating has been poor I’ve stressed eaten way too much and drank pop pretty regularly.

Plus school on top of it which the last two weeks I’ve had a big assignment due that needed my attention more. Today is my last day of the 1st semester next semester (which starts next Monday) is nutrition!!! I am little anxious to start that because I know mine isn’t as great. *sighs*

But it can only get better from here! I am going to take charge again better my eating I even got some unflavored protein powder so I am going to try my first shake with some of it, I also got kale! (I found a great recipe for dressing that I will share after I try it). Plus back to no pop. It’s my downfall but I need to do better with it.

As for getting back into a workout routine, I just need to do it. Tomorrow I plan go back to the Y. I think I will start maybe with some walking at the track then maybe swim, I want to ease myself back into it. I am hoping by the end of the week I can go back to Jazzercise too. That is my goals for the week.

I will check back with you in a week!!

~Mags

 

 

 

Strive 2017

After much debate, I have a word for 2017. If you remember last year, my word was Achieve and I felt like I haven’t achieved anything. Honestly I really wasn’t going to have a word this year because I felt like 2016 was a such let down for me because I only “achieved” four of my goals. I’ve openly have talked about my struggles as I entered into the New Year, a little rough too I might add, I kind of dismissed having a word altogether. But the more I thought about it, and I was in class the other day working on my “business plan” and the word that I have been thinking about using Strive came into my mind for a gym name. Granted it’s just part of my business class, I am not sure if I will go into my own business or not after I graduate. But I liked the idea so I went with it. Actually I had gotten up early before class and went to the Y. After I logged my workout, I wrote STRIVE on my marker board:

strive

I want to STRIVE at the gym again

I want to STRIVE in school

I want to STRIVE in my decisions

I want to STRIVE to be healthier

I want to STRIVE in my meal plans

I want to STRIVE in my goals

And so on. I guess it’s not so bad to have a word after all. Let’s STRIVE for an awesome 2017!

~Mags

 

1 year

Today is my final day of school for the semester also this happens to be the date that I am graduating next year so I am 1 year away from that!

This semester as you know, has been very emotional and stressful for me. It has taken a toll everywhere including my weight. I have gained 25 pounds overall. Which is pretty disappointing to say the least. My weight loss anniversary was on December 2nd but I didn’t feel very victorious as I have in the past because I felt like I had failed not only myself and the people who I have inspired. Plus I had taken a leave of absence from the gym and Jazzercise because I felt so defeated in the whole process.

A lot has happened in the past year, and I have fell short of  a lot my goals. For 2017, I am not making very many goals my main focus is school but I think I will attempt  Trek up the Tower in February and maybe 5K the Hard Way in June (which was my first 5K).

As for my diet I am looking into Intuitive eating.  I think it just might be the solution I need. I hope with the holiday break I can ease back into a gym routine.

I will be back after the New Year to check in!

Have a Happy Holidays and awesome 2017!!

~Mags

 

Real Talk

I wasn’t sure how to title this post or exactly how to write it. But it’s been on my mind so I wanted to share with y’all about this.  This is real talk here I am laying it out all on the line.

As you know, I am studying to become a personal trainer. It just basically happened on accident. I was applying to another school to be something totally different when I was struggling to pass the “required” exam and I lost steam on the idea. A lot of people suggested it because of my success in weight loss and motivating others. Next thing you know a year later I am starting my 2nd year of the program with completing by next December of 2017. Also, it hasn’t been anything but easy more like a roller coaster of stress, and emotions. I’ve been so close to walking away from the program completely but then where would I be?

This fall semester has been quite a roller coaster too. In September, I learned how to design and program workouts. I applied those workouts to the newer training students who were my position one year ago. It was quite an emotional time for me because I don’t take criticism well (who doesn’t) and most days I left the gym in tears.

I have a love/hate relationship with my current instructor. This is the same instructor I had for a year now. He taught me both times in kinesiology, also in my testing and prescription class and these last two classes I’ve had in the fall. Last Tuesday, he, myself and, my two classmates (who I’ve known since March and they will be done soon since they are just getting certified) had a sit down. My instructor wanted us to talk positives/negatives about one another. This is a hard topic for me because:

  1. I hate to tell anyone their faults because I want people to like me (total Taurus thing)
  2. I don’t take criticism well especially negative ones

My instructor told me out of all his years of teaching the program, he’s never met anyone who is so uncomfortable in the program than me. Needless to say I was shocked. One of the things my instructor had said in the last class: That I am uncomfortable in the gym. It was a total slap in the face. It really hurt too. I’ve mentioned it causally on this blog.

I never thought I was uncomfortable in the gym. I had Jazzercised more than going to the gym (YMCA) but apparently it’s relevant. Maybe it’s because the gym I go to for school is different than the Y maybe that’s why I am uncomfortable? Worse part was hearing that I am not educated in workouts. I felt like saying “duh” on that one. Why do you think I am going to school? I’ve learned by watching and pinterest. I really wished my school had a class on exercise. But it’s disheartening to hear constantly: “You’re uncomfortable, You don’t know exercises” How is that helping me? If anything it makes me question my abilities and I feel defeated. I also with certain exercises that I used to do but when put on the spot I get flustered and embarrassed.  I think that’s part of the reason why I have been avoiding the gym/Jazzercise. I’ve lost my confidence.

Here’s the thing. My instructor needs to do both the positive and the negative. You can’t have one without the other. In my opinion, tell me what I did wrong but soften the blow by telling me what I did good. He even said it’s a sandwich Positive with a Negative followed by a Positive.  He fails to do that.  I understand I need to grow and be comfortable as a trainer but I need positive reinforcement too. Otherwise I am going to fall back into the shadows.

Now I have a whole new understanding of why a lot of people avoid the gym altogether. I was one of those as well, and have fallen back into that fear. I need to overcome it again and start over to find what I have lost so I can be the best damn trainer I can be.

One step at a time One day at a time.

~Mags

 

 

An update!

Hello! Sorry I haven’t written in awhile but there hasn’t been a lot to say. I have had a really tough time with things. I just finished a really rough semester (seems to be the trend!) of school. It gave me a lot of emotions to deal with especially with being so foreign with the gym.

I was told numerous times that I don’t feel comfortable being in a gym setting which I felt was a personal insult to me! I have been a member of the YMCA since 2008 and even though I haven’t gone as much as I’ve liked lately, I agree and disagree with that. The gym my school uses is Prairie Life Fitness in Omaha which is just a few blocks from Campus. But for me it’s a good 45 minutes away, why would I drive 45 minutes to go workout when I have a gym not even 2 minutes away from me? Heck there’s even one across the street! I can understand being uncomfortable with PLF because I don’t go there enough to feel comfortable there I’ve only gone with class when it’s required. The Y I feel comfortable enough there because I do know most of the equipment and I’ve been a member for so long. The other uncomfortable part for me is knowing workouts. I spent last semester programing workouts for “clients” (the new students) and I had to DIG deep to find workouts that can be done in many, many different ways. But a lot of workouts I don’t know well enough because I don’t do them or know how to do them properly. That’s a stumbling block for me. I know it. I need to overcome it!

But I have been so tired, stressed, sick, and a little depressed that my workouts have taken a complete back seat. I haven’t Jazzercised in 2 months! I am on the fence about ending my membership for the time being and just solely focusing on the Y again and reacquainted with workouts and variations of them.  It’s tough because I ❤ Jazzercise so much it was there when I needed a change and I enjoyed my time there. In order to be a good trainer I need to have that knowledge of the gym which I admit I do lack a little. I have been an observer in the gym for quite sometime and I’ve learned by watching others. So I have to be well rounded when it comes to workouts and how to manipulate them.

My newest class is conditioning which is what athletes do.  Unfortunately I have zero experience in that field because I never was one so it might be a weak point to me. I am going to try my darnedest to succeed at this even if it is foreign to me.

In other news, my weight hasn’t changed for 3 months, my HS reunion came and went, I felt really good about myself then. Which again for me is something hard to come by. I still struggle a lot with confidence especially in the gym too. Menu planning didn’t go well past the third week. I learned it’s not for me and that’s okay. I gave it the old college try and I will keep doing what I have been. I do need to get back on prep which went wayside after vacation.

What else? Oh Trek up the Tower registration has opened so once payday happens Friday I am signing up all on my own. I really want to beat my time from last year. I am loosely planning to start training soon I am hoping by the end of this week/starting next week I can get started on it! I now have a better idea of how to approach it!

That’s it for now. I am hoping to be back with posts soon. Just keep me in your thoughts!

Mags

 

 

Going at it alone

I’m on a Facebook group called We’re getting slim. A local man from Omaha named Jim founded the group after he lost over 200 pounds. Recently, a member wrote a post stating that he was leaving the group because he started out losing weight really well then got injured on the job so he gained all the weight back, then blamed Jim for his failure that “Jim wouldn’t help him” I don’t know Jim personally, but he seems like a great guy. All of us from the group we surprised because it has bee nothing but positive vibes (hence why I love the group) no negativity, straight up encouragement, we offer advice to another and support each other. Jim’s wife posted how busy he is and that this individual was coming over constantly more or less being a nuisance it would seem.

Jim had nothing negative to say about it he was straight up nice about the whole thing in fact he wrote his own post about his own situation here

When I started my weight loss journey soon to be three years ago, I did it alone. I had no workout buddy, or anyone to help me. I did get some advice from a few people and a virtual support group on Facebook but other than that I went at it alone.

Why? Because I am responsible for my weight gain. Nobody else did it but me. I made bad choices, I didn’t care, and it showed. I already wrote a post about screwing up so this goes along with that post. I knew that if I relied on someone, that if I screwed up or failed I would immediately blame them and I didn’t want that to happen. Now I don’t discourage having a workout buddy or an accountability buddy if that works for you great but remember this is for YOU. My other concern was that sadly people flake out on you it happens sometimes it’s beyond our control. I didn’t want to rely on anyone. This was all on me.

I’ve had to overcome a lot of obstacles to get here. I’m not perfect, I’m human I screwed up numerous times, I would eat horrible, skip my workout, and yes I’ve gained a little weight from time to time but it happens.  At first, when I gained weight I would be upset and sometimes I still do, but there are factors to it. You gain muscle when you lift, plus when the monthly visitor happens I tend to eat more, there’s other things that happen but I’ve learned not to take it too personally and just “let it go”. I just start over the next day like it never happened. It’s mind over matter.

Essentially it’s YOU vs. YOU. You are in your own competition. We our own worst enemies sometimes but we can get past it onto something great.

As The Rock says: “Be the hardest worker in the room”

~M